So much depends on a red wheelbarrow

Source: http://www.aplithelp.com/red-wheelbarrow-much-depends-noticing/

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens

Don't put me on a pedestal

I refuse to be an ideal woman.

I am no longer going to juggle between my home and my work.
Some days, work takes a priority, some days my home.

I won't be the one to cook a meal because I am a girl.
I will cook because I love creating magic out of the mundane.

I am no longer the only one cleaning the house after a tiring day at work.
Some days, the mess is acceptable.

In my home, we have a rule - we work together, we relax together.
We don't let the other one sit and surf channels, while one is busy with the dirty laundry.

I won't be the home maker because I am a woman.
My home is shared with my partner and he will make it with me.

I love and honor my partner because he is my person.
He won't be my God just because he is a man.

I won't make sacrifices because I am a woman.
I adjust and adapt because it takes two to tango.

I refuse to bow down because I am a woman.
I change because love is always about accepting and changing yourself.

I will no longer be afraid of failures.
It's the challenge that keeps me going, and failures are but a stepping stone.

I refuse to stand on a pedestal for doing everything while killing myself.
I am gonna be deep in shit sometimes and still be real happy about it.


Random musings. I am blessed to be born in a family where I wasn't treated unfairly because I was a girl. I live with a person who doesn't believe I should do some things in the home just because I am a woman. He just knows I am better at some things and he is better at some. This pledge is for all women who are asked to sacrifice themselves in the name of marriage, family, home, and husband. The idea of an ideal woman, who manages her home and work successfully is no longer applicable. Let me be a human first.

The Recycled Book Store

I love the smell of a new book almost as much as Hermione loves the smell of a parchment. However, I recently discovered that I love the stains on the second hand books, the yellowed paper, nondescript scribbles, and broken bindings more than a brand new book.

After moving to San Jose, the only thing I really asked people about was a book store. Surprisingly, book stores are not easily available in this city. Yes, you will find the public libraries, I live in front of one, but the charm of a book store is very different than using the Kindle App. I asked my colleagues and the nearest one was almost 10 kilometers away. A little research revealed this small Recycled Book Store near my area, which I decided to explore with my husband one weekend.

The moment you step inside this book store, you receive a warm welcome from a pile of books, which are generally available for less than a $1. I always stop here. I enter and cannot take three steps inside without already picking a book from the welcoming pile. My husband moves on to the comics section.

The store is surprisingly well organised, by themes, and then alphabetically. One can get lost in the rows and rows of books, wooden flooring, and cosy corners to just pick up a book and read for some time. If you are lucky, the cats will graze by or stare at you. Cat lovers will love this place.

Recycled Book Store

I always wonder who was the original owner of the book, which I decided to buy. I always wanted to buy a Calvin and Hobbes volume and when I found one, it looked as if someone really used it well. Yellowed pages, brown stains as if someone spilled a little coffee, markers of the book being used, being read, being handled by someone else before me. The books invite me to not just explore the written words, but also guess work about who read it first. Did a parent read it out to their kid? Was a PG Wodehouse book passed on from grandparent to a grand child like my grand mom did? Was a book donated because the owners no longer had space or had grown out of the book? So many questions raise to my mind when I enter this shop.

A part of the science fiction aisle

There are also some rare finds that one stumbles across in this book store, like the one time I found an Asterix comic in French. I didn't buy it cos I can't read French, and my husband absolutely forbade me to buy anything just because it was in it's original language.

In a land far far away from my home, this recycled book shop give me a feeling of being closer to my roots just by helping me find my favorite authors, or favorite titles. It helps me realize that there are some common threads even when you are away from home. A Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, still gives you the same goosebumps that an abridged version gave you when you first read it probably in your teen age. The Lord Emsworth (from several P.G. Wodehouse books) is still that hilarious old forgetting man, which made you laugh not so long ago.

No matter how convenient it is to load a thousand books on your phone, when it comes to reading as an experience, I would any day pick a book, and now a used book over a new one.

Live alone woman, find yourself in your solitude

As I mentioned in my earlier post, my biggest regret is that I didn't live on my own in my 20s. I came to Pune for my Masters education and since we were not so great on funds, lived with my sister and her family. Two years later I was graduated and had a good job, which could have allowed me to stay on my own. My sister didn't kick me out of the house and I was so comfortable, I didn't step out. The plus point is that I got to spend a wonderful time with my niece so much so that I tell my husband that she is my first baby and when I have real babies they will have to compete with her - no questions asked! When my baby was two, I got married and went to stay at my husband's place. Now I don't want to live alone.

Call it luck, but when my husband moved to the US, I got a blissful period of two months on my own. When he had gone on business trips earlier, short ones, I used to move my bags to my sister's place. This time, I decided to stay put.

For the first time, I wasn't scared living alone. Except locking my bedroom door, I didn't feel like doing anything else. I didn't leave the lights of the entire house on, neither did I call my husband for all the time that I was alone in the room. Slowly, I started realizing the joys of living on my own.

I must say, living on my own when I was working is no doubt a great comfort than living when you are a student. For the first time, I made impromptu plans with friends, went for drinks, drives, and laughed like crazy. I shopped for my own food, planned my meals, luckily I have an excellent maid, so I didn't have to cook. I started going for exercises in the evening, bought groceries, paid the maid, the bills, met friends for dinner and had a great time.

I also learnt the joy of enjoying in your own house. This was the first time I celebrated New Year's Eve alone, with a drink, made myself some appetizers, ordered my favorite food and watched TV. Being alone and being lonely are two different things. I was happy being with just me.

One night I had a solid craving for Fish, if you know me, then you know how strong my cravings are, and they need to be fulfilled as early as possible. I called up a new place, ordered fish, told the chef to customize a dish my way, and asked his recommendation for accompaniments. That was one of the best meals I enjoyed in a long time.

Two months later, my mom joined me and I still had a good time with her. I realized I love to have people around but I am always happy being just by my own. This period of two months was very important for me. It taught me how to be happy on your own. It also made me realize that I was happy because I had a loved one in my life, he was just not in the same space, but he was there and I was going to meet him eventually. I learnt that there's a difference between being lonely and being alone. That's also a reason now I feel every person should try and live alone at least some time in their life. It teaches us so much, in such little time. It makes us realize who we are and what we want. The solitude makes us introspect and resolve a lot of troubled issues.

I still regret not living alone when I was single.